Truth be told, the real challenge with this post will be limiting the number of reasons to JUST TEN; prepared to give it my best shot nonetheless!

Let’s start with this. My first encounter with being in the service industry occurred while in college. I waited tables at Red Lobster for several years and will say that the experience was likely just as educational as the college degree I earned while employed there. I liked working at Red Lobster for the most part. I made a lot of good friends while there and really enjoyed making my own money as this was my first non-minimum wage job. It enabled me to cover a good portion of my college tuition (while concurrently supporting a “healthy” shopping fetish). One of the nuggets of knowledge gained during my employment at RL, was, and is, that some people truly value and deeply appreciate excellent customer service, AND—- what it means to give it! Others; not so much. Generally, in the past, I have referred to those people (in my best Dana Carvey voice) as…… SATAN. J

*Disclaimer: For those readers who may be put off by the constant and intentional use of sarcasm, I urge you to stop here and never, ever again read anything that I may post.

Moving on, every (and I do mean EVERY) Friday night during the weekend dinner rush, “Satan” came in the form of a short, middle-aged lady with curly blonde hair. She would come in to eat with her husband where generally she would begin to grumble, complain, and nit-pick well before her rear end could make contact with the over-burdened booth she referred to as “her table”. I remember Shirli, (that was her other “S” name) always spoke in a very loud voice which I believe she used as a tactic to get what she wanted in the restaurant. Typically, her routine was mostly the same. She would order food, finish 50-75% of whatever was on the plate (that she and her husband always shared, btw) then send it back for a whole host of different reasons. This was followed by a loud and obnoxious demand for a refund. I remember her sending back the remains (about 2 bites) of a perfectly cooked lobster tail citing that she believed the tail had been sprayed with some type of a pesticide and mind you if she were to get sick she would end up owning the restaurant (a thought that we peasant restaurant workers couldn’t bare to consider). Without fail, the Manager on Duty would simply comply on a repeated basis with each of Shirli’s demands. I didn’t feel this was at all “right” but it was understandable. The passive method was absolutely, absent any doubt, the path of least resistance as there would be a certain and embarrassing crowd of curious onlookers if there were pushback on any level to Satan’s fury. I know the managers felt it easier to let her have her way rather than to offend another person who may be sitting in the restaurant for the first time not privy to what was really happening.

Shirli also had a pretty consistent routine when it came to “tips” for the wait staff. After making herself at home in the aforementioned booth for most of the dinner rush, she would always show her appreciation with a 20% tip for the lucky server of the night. Problem was, the check normally averaged all of 4 bucks after the “Shirli discount had been applied”. Incidentally, the average .70-.80 cent tip came in a stable variety of nickels, dimes, and pennies (no exaggeration) which made her, without a doubt, the object of everyone’s “affection” and most certainly didn’t lend itself well to the quality of service she received from servers who no longer desired to “try” with her.

Getting to the promised point of this rant, I have seen many visions of Shirli since leaving my job at RL so many years ago! I’ve learned that “SATAN” IS EVERYWHERE and comes in all shapes, sizes, and demeanors. Can I get an Amen? LOL! JJJ People like Shirli have taught me a lot over the years and I’m thankful for those lessons. Main lesson learned; we all train people how to treat us in one way or another and hold the keys to what’s acceptable and what’s not! The passive approach by my managers at RL may’ve been the best decision for them, but in fact, taught this (god-awful) customer that she could repeat the same behaviors over and over again for the desired result.

Using an alternative approach, we at the Tidy Chick Housekeeping Co. tend to relieve ourselves (quickly in fact) of those customers who don’t treat us well and count ourselves fortunate to be “ABLE” to do so. We recognize that “everyone” isn’t our client and although we strive to deliver “over the top” service; some folks…ya just can’t please—and really don’t desire to!

Bottom line, you as a customer contribute heavily to employee retention and workplace satisfaction in my business! (My apologies for all of the bold and underlined statements). That said, it’s important to in some way communicate things that are acceptable/unacceptable which is the purpose here. Treating others as you wanna be treated is really key when it comes to getting what you want and customers who don’t know this…SHOULD!

Take a moment to entertain the following scenarios from FORMER Tidy Chick customers. Are you a Shirli? If so, we are offering advance notice that we wish to take a HARD PASS on doing any long term business with you!

Here are 10 Reasons Your Housekeeper MAY be doing the Happy Dance at the thought of losing your business:

• Your house looks like a bomb went off just prior to your housekeeper’s arrival (which btw… WASN’T part of the original deal). Your empty apology now occurs on a regular basis as you’re well aware that you’re not keeping up your end of the bargain but employ a no excuses mindset if your crew in turn is unable to complete the many tasks at hand to perfection as a result of YOUR failure to prepare for cleaning day.
• Here’s a biggie! You cancel on a frequent basis OR EVEN BETTER– without notice NOT recognizing that your spot on the schedule is an important part of your housekeeper’s income stream.
• Your old housekeeper (the one you got rid of as you worded it) wasn’t very punctual you say but you insist on talking to the crew in your home for an intrusive amount of time making them habitually late for the customer behind you. And although you accepted our 1-hour arrival window upon agreeing to be a customer, you don’t like that there is one which exists in particular because of people like you who are oblivious to anyone else’s schedule.
• You can’t possibly understand why a professional cleaning company can’t make your never maintained, 20-year-old bathtub look new again despite best efforts? Allow me to help—just as your hairdresser can’t grow hair; the same concept applies to your bathtub issue).
• You completely ignore policies that have been previously communicated or as one customer said, “no need to call the office to clear all of the extra things I’m asking for today; let’s just keep this between us”. Yes, that happened!
• You complain at the drop of a hat and NEVER have anything nice to say. After all, your payment for services entitles you to be a difficult person!
• You “forget” to pay or require them to chase down the payment. Uh…excuse me; my secretary is holding your payment at the office 3 miles away; would you mind picking up the payment? (This happened too).
• You’ve proclaimed loudly and proudly that you are a complete perfectionist when it comes to your floors! Floors should be left spotless you say; however, within each 2-week period, it looks like the ENTIRE City of Columbus was invited to enjoy a picnic in the rain on your hardwood. Did I mention that you believe it shouldn’t take any additional time or money from you to restore them because using your logic…you just need to stay within your set budget.
• You’ve indicated that it’s important for you to always be home during your cleaning but expect us to consistently accommodate any schedule change requests to allow for your more important hair appointment.
• Finally, maybe you haven’t yet grasped that the term “Business Hours” also apply to late night and weekend text messages?

   THE END

   Thanks for reading. (Currently doing “THE HAPPY DANCE”)!